
Dear Professor Random,
You gotta understand,
It’s our training in statistics
That gets things out of hand
Our teachers talk in numbers
Our books are symbols too
Golly Moses, what are we to do
Gee, Dr. Random, we're very upset
we never had the love of math
a child oughta get
My dad was stochastic
My mom lost her nerve
We never had a normal curve
Normal curve, normal curve
Normal curve, normal curve
We never had a normal curve
Our auto correlation
Should tell us what to do
But our spatial distribution
can pixelate our view

We’re standard deviations
From being understood
It’s no wonder
We can’t compute too good
And so in summation
From i up to n
A double integration means
To do it again
We may be regressing
If our matrix is used
What if our data turns out skewed
We’ll be skewed, we’ll be skewed
Our research will be skewed
If our data turns out to be skewed
So please Dr. Random, your root needs to square
we don't need a grade, we need an analyst's care
All these equations have gotta be curbed
before we’re mathematically disturbed 
